Friday, April 1, 2011

My New World Order

I’ve had a change of heart and ideology. Since Sarah Palin hit the scene in 2008, I’ve been writing and spending a lot of time pushing for the conservative agenda and, in particular, a Palin presidency. Since then my house has gone into foreclosure, I lost my job and my ex-wife won’t let me see my kid anymore. Being a conservative activist blogger caused me to lose focus on making money and taking care of my own personal business. After a lot of thought and soul searching, I have come to the realization that all this would not have happened had progressives achieved their goal of a socialist state and a new world order.

Think about it. All of our needs would be taken care of from cradle to grave. It’s disappointing to me that Obamacare never got the public option, but hey as long as enough people chip into the kitty there will always be enough money available for my government subsidized health insurance company to cover my medical expenses. It’s a win win for me. The government forces me to stop smoking, drinking and overeating and in exchange I get free health care to pay for all the damage I did before I was forced to stop with my indulgences.

Why didn’t I see this before? What a great system.

I realize I will still have to work until the transition from crony capitalist democracy to European socialist democracy and finally to a socialist confederate nation state in the World Union is complete. The Shadow Party are geniuses. I'm hoping we will someday make China redistribute its wealth back to us under a decree by the UN Secretary General when the time comes for him to declare the World Wide Equitable Shares Act, which will be ratified by the U.S. despite the carping of many conservatives.

Already conservatives are arguing with me on this vision. They ask me where the money to do all this is going to come from or what happens what you run out of other people’s money? I simply tell them we’ll just borrow it. We know there’s life on other planets and once we discover it, we know there’s a rich planet out there that will bail us out should this whole plan not work. But in the meantime, I am able to question my religion enough to consider learning more about Islam. I mean, we are an enlightened people now. Our intellectual capacity must be stretched since it is required of us to become masters of the universe.

When I was a conservative, I did a lot of opposition research on the progressive movement. It’s amazing how much of it is really true. But instead of fighting it and using buzzwords like liberty, Constitutionalism, free enterprise, I realized that becoming an intellectual and understanding all the complexities and moving parts of life is more important than visions of shining cities with people who make a lot of money off their own individual efforts.

You know, I’ve been busting my hump all these years trying to make enough money to do such hedonistic things like take my son on a nationwide tour or build a business that might employ a whole bunch of people in my town. And what has it gotten me? This moral core and foundation I developed and $5.00 just might get me a cup of coffee at Starbucks. But imagine the conversations I could have at the café living off my government stipend if I just give up on this “I can get rich” stupidity I’ve been living with all my life until now. That’s got to be worth more than moral fiber and $5.00.

I realize now what a waste of time it was trying to convince people that someone is who they are based on their personal character and record. I resisted the notion that someone’s worth isn’t based on their individual merit, but rather on their worth to the state and how they are perceived by others including the media. Besides, documenting Sarah Palin’s record accurately and digging past all the surface dirt the media throws on her is a lot of work. Telling people “she’s an idiot” simply requires me to repeat the same three words over and over again to different people. Imagine all the time I will save now that I no longer have to stand up for her.

Someone order me a latte!

I feel better already knowing that the state will guide me and provide that force field around me which will protect me from everything from violent attack to home appliance failure. When my car breaks down, if I can get that covered by the new statism, there will be no chance I’ll ever go back to being a conservative. How stupid was I to try to build this force field myself when I have the might and power of a government that can simply stifle those who want to go against the greater good, which is now my newly adopted greater good. We have government agencies that will stop people from building inferior cars, home appliances and financial products. The police will have unlimited powers to stop anyone who may want to rob my house. Utopia, here we come!

People tell me that I’m giving up a lot of freedom. But it’s worth it considering that for following a bunch of rules and regulations, I get peace of mind and government subsidized money either directly or through whatever cake job I can get in this system in exchange for what – giving up the smokes and the trans fats? Besides, I hate all the paperwork associated with running a business and the limits on my fairly decent salary at my private sector job.

Give me a television set and three squares a day and I’m good. There will be times I miss the Fox News channel, but I’m learning so much about the world now on all the other channels that are owned by conglomerates made up of progressives and new world order internationalists. I never knew George Washington was such a bad guy.

Now I have to learn one more thing about my new ideology. How will we rectify the merging of atheistic secular liberalism with a Muslim caliphate. Will that be the new schism in the Democratic party down the road? Oh the thrill of intellectual analysis. I have some blog posts to write, baby!

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